Sunday, August 29, 2010

The Freedom of a Child©

My fifth child came out of the womb looking to give affection. There’s just something about touch that is in her dna. Even as a teenager she still likes to come, climb up in my bed after waking, and snuggle. As a younger child, no matter what was going on in her day she was often drawn to where I was. She wanted to be with me.

In the late afternoons I would steal away into my bedroom for a little down time before the arsenic hour of dinner and bedtime hit. It wouldn't take long for my little one to come toddling in looking for me. The ways she came varied depending on what was going on inside her.

Sometimes she would come in wanting to talk to me. Other times she would walk in to see what I was doing, give me a hug, a kiss, then leave. But her favorite times were when she would hear me chatting on the phone with a friend. She would grab up her blanket, toddle into the room to climb up into my lap and rock. Laying her head against my chest she would just sit. There was something about those moments that beckoned her away from her busy activities into my embrace. It was the moment of stillness where she could just be, with Me.

As I chatted away, she snuggled down close, allowing my voice to reverberate in her ears. As my heart strummed it's steady beat, soothing her body, she would often ease into a sweet rest.

I loved how she came. I didn’t keep track of how often she chatted with me, or how frequently she climbed up in my lap. I just loved that she knew her place with me. I loved the ease in which she moved into what her heart stirred her to do. She didn't wonder or question. She lived in the comfortable freedom to be who she was in the moments never wondering if it was acceptable. She came just as she was longing to come.

It has taken me a while to get here but I’m finding my way into the childlike faith that knows the ease of being with One who loves them beyond any fears or expectations that might tell them otherwise. I'm finding that it requires no real discipline to follow the heart. Regimen requires discipline while the Spirit's urgings of the heart evoke following. The longings of the heart well up inside luring you to be where you need to be.

In these beautiful moments I find His invitation is extended wooing me to follow Him inside me.

As I grow into this love that takes my breath away, I’m finding life with God is much simpler than I've known it to be. He invites me to be with Him as my heart beckons me to be, for it is after all where His Spirit dwells.

In simplicity I am finding the beauty of the invitation of His Spirit made known. This beautiful, childlike faith is drawing me into a place much like my daughter has lived with me. Sometimes the Spirit lures me to look to see what He’s doing, give him a hug, a kiss then leave. Other times I come to talk to Him about what’s on my heart. But my favorite times are when I hear His voice and ease up into His lap. The sound of His voice soothes me into a stillness unlike any other.

As I delighted with my daughter's varied responses He delights with me. No records are kept, nor are there any agendas waiting to be fulfilled. He delights in seeing me come as I long to come. It's a stunning transformation. Day by day, moment by moment, I'm learning to live in the comfortable freedom of a child again. It's in that freedom I am learning to be.

©copyrighted: 2010, Julie L. Todd


Lydia said... Reply to comment

Dear Mom,
So I found out about this blog post by Abigail freaking out and telling me it was about me. So of course I went and read it.
I definitely did not cry at all
I loved the moments of snuggling with you especially when I knew you needed it. Or when I needed it. I love you and you will always have a special place in my heart that no one can replace. Even the days when I am moody and get mad at you I still love you so don't ever forget that.
I could never stop loving you no matter how hard I tried. Not that I am going to try. But still.
I will always be here to snuggle with you and to give you a hug and kiss and random times in the day.
I love you.

Jo Princess Warrior said... Reply to comment

Julie, I was already moved by your post and then I read Lydia's comment. Wow! So incredible. You are an amazing mother Julie. Your children rise up and call you blessed!!!!!

I am relearning years and years of the mindset of compulsary "quiet time" and transitioning to coming when He beckons or when I need to.
It's a hard transition but one I am becoming more and more comfortable with as I realise that he doesn't keep records. He just wants me to come as I am and when I need to or when He calls me. Just as it should be.

I love that you are on the same journey as me. I love you my friend. Thank you for once again inspiring me and putting in words what is in my heart. xoxoxoxoxoxo

Terra said... Reply to comment

This is a charming story of your daughter and you trusting and loving, and of you learning to trust and lean on Jesus. Sweet. And the comment from Lydia is wonderful.

Aine Willis said... Reply to comment

I loved this! That's all I can say ... it's beautiful. Thank you for reminding me ... He doesn't keep track or score.

~*~KIMBERLY~*~ said... Reply to comment

Amen Julie!! AMEN! I love that!

Amy said... Reply to comment


I love the comment from Lydia too...

Have a happy day!

sparrow girl said... Reply to comment

I loved this! Lydia's comment was also beautiful! Jesus is just shining out of both of you! What a wonderful testimony not only to your mother-daughter relationship, but also to the relationship we have with our Heavenly Father.

It's mind-boggling to think that He wishes us to come to Him as we are, anytime, with the confidence of a little child. I want to live in that truth more and more!

You're a wonderful mom and have a wonderful daughter!

Love, Sparrow

P.S. - I call the supper hour the "arsenic hour" too! Haha!

Bretta said... Reply to comment

My beautiful friend! What a great post. Love the father's heart touching yours with these word pictures that so adequately show His heart towards us. Thank you for sharing it with us. <3

Karen said... Reply to comment

No better place than in His lap...

This "Simplicity" that you wrote about...why do we try to make it so complicated?

Marmee Janet said... Reply to comment

I thought of this when I read your post and your daughter's comment:
O LORD, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; Nor do I involve myself in great matters, Or in things too difficult for me. (2) Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; Like a weaned child rests against his mother, My soul is like a weaned child within me. (3) O Israel, hope in the LORD From this time forth and forever.
Psa 131:1-3

Thank you to you both for letting the quiet, beautiful love of Jesus shine through!

Crown of Beauty said... Reply to comment

Dearest Julie,
I just had to read this post several times over, to savor every word and feelings that went with it.

What a sweet child Lydia is, and I know that each child has a special place in your heart.

You have raised your children well, in the way you know best.

They will never forget you for that...

You are growing "old" with grace, and beauty.

I especially love the fact that my name is Lidia, too, spelled the Spanish way.

This was such a great post. Well worth the wait before I got to read it.


Cindy said... Reply to comment


anonymouse :) said... Reply to comment

How did I miss this post? It was from August! Anyway, I've read it now and am encouraged to continue down the path God seems to be beckoning me to join Him on. A path where He speaks and I listen, He loves and I rest, He is and I am in Him. The beautiful part is what you said about not keeping track and no set regimine. How many times have I heard it said that the great theologians rose early to seek the face of God--as if His glory is limited to shining only in the pre-dawn hours! Or perhaps it shines only on one side of the earth at a time like the sun! Anyway, thank you for walking where He is and sharing the scenary along the way. Love you.

Crown of Beauty said... Reply to comment

Hi dear friend,
Thinking of you and praying all is well.

Missing you...


Rick said... Reply to comment

We have three daughters - all beautiful girls. Daughter #2 gets married in 2.5 weeks. Where did it all go. Time goes by so fast.