Thursday, July 24, 2008

Please pray for my girls

UPDATE:  I wanted to tell you about my other daughter's plans.  She too is planning a missions trip overseas.  She leaves Sept. 1st for 3 weeks.  She is going to Asia to help some friends of ours in their small church plant.   Though she does not have a blog where you can read the support letter she sent out, would you please pray for her when you read this.  Please pray for God's provision and safety to cover her.  It will be her first flight and a 14 hour one at that with a layover.  Thank you for praying for my Courtney.

My daughter Hannah has heard God's call to missions and plans on returning to staff the YWAM base in England for the next 1-2 years. For those who don't know, she just returned from attending the Discipleship Training School (DTS) there. You can read about it here: As a staff member she will help train up and disciple young adults who come to attend the school. She will also be involved in taking them on outreach trips to other countries.

She is in the process of sending out letters to raise the $500 monthly support needed. They would like to have her there in September as they need her to staff the team coming in. Time is short. But Papa God knows....

If you don't know much about YWAM DTS, you can read about it on her blog:
Abandoned For Him Please pray for Papa God's encouragement to shower down on her as she waits for His provision to come. Also if you feel so led, stop by her blog and encourage her.

As you can see both of my girls will be leaving one right after the other.  I will be back around that time to ask for your prayers for me.  It's going to be an emotional thing to put both of my girls on flights overseas within days of each other.  Thank you for your love and prayers!  They are felt.

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

His Relentless Pursuit

  Have you ever feared you would miss God’s voice, or worse, His will?   What if somehow He calls me and I don’t hear Him?   It was one of my greatest fears until God gave me a new perspective.

     A few years back we were in the midst of what I call the “season of the jobs”.  My husband ended up having 6 jobs in 4 years, all of them paid thousands less than our living expenses.  Life was pretty hard and there were times when we desperately needed rescue.  We started to wonder if somehow we had missed His voice, or worse, refused to listen.  I considered how finite I was.  What if I didn’t hear Him when He called?  This fear often plaqued me during those days, consuming my mind.  On one such day, God decided to give me a new picture, a revelation of His heart that would release me.

     My husband and I were sitting downstairs at the desk looking things up on the computer when my oldest son came down and headed outside.  My husband had instructions to give him before he went out to play so he called out his name.  My son who was in his own world, continued on his quest unaware of his dad’s voice.  My husband called again, this time louder.  Again my son didn’t hear.   David then got up and headed towards the door to call him for the third time.  But Josiah still did not respond.  He went a step further and followed him outside, calling his name until he acknowledged him.  He did not intend to give up until his son heard him.  Finally, Josiah turned his face towards David and was given the message his dad had been waiting to give him.

     It was in that moment God’s words restored my picture. “Did you see that Jewel?”  Yes, Papa.  “Jewel, just like David went after Josiah to make sure he heard his voice, I will come after you.”  “I will not leave you until you hear my voice.”  “I will follow you out to where you are if need be to make sure you know which way to go.”  “Don’t fear, dear one.”  “I will come for you.”


     It’s one of those moments that digs in and takes root.  God had unveiled a revelatory picture for my heart.  Today as I write this 6 years later I can still see it.

     I don’t have to fear that I will miss His voice.  He knows I want to follow Him.  He looks on my heart and reads my thoughts.  He will run after me to make sure I know what He wants me to know.  It is He who pursues me.  He will relentlessly pursue me to make Himself known.  Just as no good parent will send their child out without what they need to know, neither will my God. 


      It’s not up to me to make sure I hear His voice.  It’s up to me to listen and answer when He calls.  He says, “seek me and you will find me.”  It is He who finds me and brings me to Himself.  So often I make things in this walk with Him about me and my responsibilities when He makes it about Him and His pursuit of me.  He calls unto me, I respond to His call.  

     No amount of fretting will give me His will.  His will is already in me waiting to be revealed by Him.  As I have been crucified with Christ, I have become the dwelling place of God, therefore His will is now indwelling me.    His Spirit lives to bring revelation to me.  It’s then I get to choose to follow or not.  It is not my ability to find the path that brings it forth.  It is the Spirit’s revealing that makes it known.  He waits to reveal what is already placed inside me.

     He will come after me until I hear His voice.  I felt the chains of fear fall off as He spoke to me.  It’s not up to me.  He’s got it all and He won’t let me miss Him.  I can rest.  It is His work.  I am His child.  He will hunt me down until I hear His voice.  His sweet peace becomes my reality.

     I will lead the blind by ways they have not known, along unfamiliar paths I will guide them.   Isaiah 42:16a

    You have made known to me the path of life;  Psalm 16:11

 This is also posted at:Heart of the Matter

©copyrighed 2008 by Julie L. Todd

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I have to share this post with you

My heart is full to overflowing as I read this blog:  Abandoned for Him.
This is my daughter.

She sees what I could not see at her age, or for most of my life.  She's sees His heart.

Do me a favor and go show my girl some the process see His heart in her words.

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth  3 John 1:4


Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Message of the Words

How often have you considered what your child really hears? It wasn’t until God began my healing that I realized how much had been distorted in me. It wasn’t necessarily what a person said, it was what I interpreted their words to mean. As I became aware of things I had believed about myself through another’s words, I had to face the reality that my children had heard things through my words. So many years had passed in my child-raising. Was there any way things could be redeemed? How could I go back and speak truth into those places? I know with God it’s never too late for redemption, but how do I go back?

One day God gave me a front row seat to His never-ending desire to heal and restore. My 2nd daughter was struggling when she came into my room. Being my child who internalizes, it wasn’t evident what was really going on, so I started asking questions. She blurted out. “I’m sorry I’ve always caused you so much pain.” Having just finished an intense time of healing
I knew God was extending an invitation to be involved in a rescue.

I began to question her to find out why she would say such a thing. She said “I was the one who brought you so much pain in childbirth”. Aha, the lie is revealed. She had heard me talk to women, as most of us do, about my child births. She had heard me say that she was my longest, most painful one. But what her mind processed was “I’m the one who caused my mom the most pain.” “I hurt my mom.” “It’s my fault.”

I held her in my arms as she wept. I began to soak her with the truth. “Oh sweetheart, you didn’t cause me pain.” “It wasn’t your fault.” “It was MY body that would not cooperate.” “You tried to get here, but my body wouldn’t let you.” “It’s not your fault.” ” As she held onto me I told her of how desperately I had wanted to hold her in my arms. I told her how greatly she was loved and longed for. A moment of healing came as the truth set her free.

Our words have an effect, whether we realize it or not. Words like “you’re driving me crazy” are interpreted “I drive my mom crazy.” “I’m a problem”. It’s not the child that’s driving you crazy, it’s their behavior. But the child thinks it’s them.

Children hear things through a child’s mind. They can’t reason it out through the mind of an adult. Whatever their minds process is what they end up believing. I know, I was one of those children.

I have hurt my children, because I have not considered what they might be hearing through my words. Sometimes I wonder if it can ever all be recovered. And then I remember: I will restore the years the locust have eaten," says the Lord (Joel 2:25).

Most heartache and brokenness come through family life. Words get distorted. Things are heard that are not meant. Children get hurt. I’ve heard enough stories to verify that. Listen through the ears of a child. Be careful what you speak. There is one who prowls around seeking to distort what you say to steal, kill and destroy. Don’t allow him to use your words.

I am thankful that it’s never too late. His grace covers everything, even my words. Instead of condemning me, He invites me to be a vessel of healing. I believe in the God who heals. I know, He came for me. What about you? What’s behind your words?

Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. Proverbs 12:18
©copyright 2008 Julie L. Todd

Saturday, July 12, 2008

Becoming Me's Blog Mission's Tour

     Why do I blog?  It is my place to share the treasures in my heart.  I have heard Papa God calling me to write for some time.  I have run from the calling due to discouragement and feelings of inadequacy.  Yet the desire is so deep to express all that He has revealed to me that I can no longer run.  My desire in blogging is to share the revelations of God to my heart.   I spent many years living a religious life that left me weary and worn down.  Papa has invited me into the joy of living in His sweet embrace, experiencing a love that is not earned but freely given.  As I grow in this intimacy with Him, I want to share the beauty of His deep, intimate heart of love.

    That is why I blog.  As you stop by my blog, may you see His heart calling out to YOU, to enter in, cease from your own efforts and find rest in His embrace.


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Diving in Deep

  It’s always been a delight to watch my children enjoying the thrill of the ocean.  I remember the days when my second born was a toddler.  She loved going up to the edge of the water and feeling the waves wash over her toes.  With a shrill of glee and a look of delight she experienced the beginning of the depths of the deep blue sea.

     As years went by she would branch a little further out, gradually working her way up to her knees.  Even though the pull of the wave’s current would knock her down, she would jump back up to encounter the exhilaration of the waves rushing over her once again.

      Each year’s return visit took her a little further into the pleasure of the ocean. Gradually she found her way on boogie boards and riding the waves.  Last year as a 17 year old she ditched the boogie board and body surfed.  The more she felt the amusement of the open waters, the greater the call to go in deeper.

    Do you know that the deepest parts of the ocean have never been explored.  The reason why is the cost is too great to go there.  There are treasures hidden in the darkness of the depths that no one ever discovers because of cost.

      It’s amazing to me how much life in the physical and spiritual correlate. The ocean of God’s vast love invites us into the depths where treasures are stored, yet often we don’t go there.  The cost seems too great.

      It’s easy to be comfortable with body surfing or even snorkeling. There is a thrill associated with seeing exotic things there, but it’s nothing near to what a scuba diver sees.

     I remember the time my husband and friend went scuba diving.  A giant sea turtle swam past at just the right time.  My husband grabbed hold and went for a ride.  You can’t find that snorkeling.  Those pleasures are waiting in the deep.  Turtle rides are treasures stored in the secret places of the ocean’s depth.

     God has beckoned me into the deep waters with Him.  At first I feared  going.  What would it look like?  What would it cost me?  It’s a risk to go deep sea diving with God.  After all we don’t really know what we will encounter.  Why is it we so often look at the cost of something, when God always looks at the gain?  Why do we hold onto our places of comfort when God invites us to move into the secret places where treasures are stored?

      Just as the ocean’s lure beckoned my daughter to come further in, He invites me to come into the depths of His great love. It’s there He whispers His secrets into my heart.  He wants to tell me who He really is and what He thinks of me.   Yes, it will mean I leave  comfort behind.  There are things that will have to be discarded in order to swim deep.  But honestly, is there really any comfort in those things?  Isn’t the real comfort realized in coming to know Him deeply?  What I am leaving behind will not compare to what will be uncovered.  He desperately wants us to know Him, intimately, deeply, by name.  In Him I will find all the comfort I need.

   So, what do you say, will you dive in deep and let Him show you the treasures stored there?  Can you allow Him to have your comforts and find your comfort in Him alone?  You will never be the same.   Oh the depths and riches of His great love, who can fathom.

    I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.  Is. 45:3


©copyrighted 2008 by Julie L. Todd