Thursday, July 17, 2008

I have to share this post with you

My heart is full to overflowing as I read this blog:  Abandoned for Him.

This is my daughter.

She sees what I could not see at her age, or for most of my life.  She's sees His heart.

Do me a favor and go show my girl some love...in the process see His heart in her words.

I keep coming back here and adding things.  My Hannah is headed back to England to staff
the YWAM base there.  When you see this, would you pray for her as she sends out letters, contacts churches, and works on raising support.  It's a pretty daunting task at times, yet 
she knows that God has it all.  Thanks!

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth  3 John 1:4

Jewelz

Sunday, July 13, 2008

The Message of the Words


     How often have you considered what your child really hears?  It wasn't until God began my healing that I realized how much had been distorted in me.  It wasn't necessarily what a person said, it was what I interpreted their words to mean.  As I became aware of things I had believed about myself through another's words, I had to face the reality that my children had heard things through my words.  So many years had passed in my child-raising.  Was there any way things could be redeemed?  How could I go back and speak the truth into those places?  I know with God it's never too late for redemption, but how do I go back?


       One day God gave me a front row seat to His never-ending desire to heal and restore.  My 2nd daughter was struggling  when she came into my room.    Being my child who internalizes, it wasn’t evident what was really going on, so I started asking questions.  She blurted out.  “I’m sorry I’ve always caused you so much pain.”  Having just finished an intense time of healing through a set of tools our church uses, (Christ-life Solutions) I knew God was extending an invitation to be involved in a rescue.


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Saturday, July 12, 2008

Becoming Me's Blog Mission's Tour



     Why do I blog?  It is my place to share the treasures in my heart.  I have heard Papa God calling me to write for some time.  I have run from the calling due to discouragement and feelings of inadequacy.  Yet the desire is so deep to express all that He has revealed to me that I can no longer run.  My desire in blogging is to share the revelations of God to my heart.   I spent many years living a religious life that left me weary and worn down.  Papa has invited me into the joy of living in His sweet embrace, experiencing a love that is not earned but freely given.  As I grow in this intimacy with Him, I want to share the beauty of His deep, intimate heart of love.

    That is why I blog.  As you stop by my blog, may you see His heart calling out to YOU, to enter in, cease from your own efforts and find rest in His embrace.

   Jewelz


Tuesday, July 8, 2008

Diving in Deep

  It’s always been a delight to watch my children enjoying the thrill of the ocean.  I remember the days when my second born was a toddler.  She loved going up to the edge of the water and feeling the waves wash over her toes.  With a shrill of glee and a look of delight she experienced the beginning of the depths of the deep blue sea.


     As years went by she would branch a little further out, gradually working her way up to her knees.  Even though the pull of the wave’s current would knock her down, she would jump back up to encounter the exhilaration of the waves rushing over her once again.


      Each year’s return visit took her a little further into the pleasure of the ocean. Gradually she found her way on boogie boards and riding the waves.  Last year as a 17 year old she ditched the boogie board and body surfed.  The more she felt the amusement of the open waters, the greater the call to go in deeper.


    Do you know that the deepest parts of the ocean have never been explored.  The reason why is the cost is too great to go there.  There are treasures hidden in the darkness of the depths that no one ever discovers because of cost.


      It’s amazing to me how much life in the physical and spiritual correlate. The ocean of God’s vast love invites us into the depths where treasures are stored, yet often we don’t go there.  The cost seems too great.


      It’s easy to be comfortable with body surfing or even snorkeling. There is a thrill associated with seeing exotic things there, but it’s nothing near to what a scuba diver sees.


     I remember the time my husband and friend went scuba diving.  A giant sea turtle swam past at just the right time.  My husband grabbed hold and went for a ride.  You can’t find that snorkeling.  Those pleasures are waiting in the deep.  Turtle rides are treasures stored in the secret places of the ocean’s depth.


     God has beckoned me into the deep waters with Him.  At first I feared  going.  What would it look like?  What would it cost me?  It’s a risk to go deep sea diving with God.  After all we don’t really know what we will encounter.  Why is it we so often look at the cost of something, when God always looks at the gain?  Why do we hold onto our places of comfort when God invites us to move into the secret places where treasures are stored?


      Just as the ocean’s lure beckoned my daughter to come further in, He invites me to come into the depths of His great love. It’s there He whispers His secrets into my heart.  He wants to tell me who He really is and what He thinks of me.   Yes, it will mean I leave  comfort behind.  There are things that will have to be discarded in order to swim deep.  But honestly, is there really any comfort in those things?  Isn’t the real comfort realized in coming to know Him deeply?  What I am leaving behind will not compare to what will be uncovered.  He desperately wants us to know Him, intimately, deeply, by name.  In Him I will find all the comfort I need.


   So, what do you say, will you dive in deep and let Him show you the treasures stored there?  Can you allow Him to have your comforts and find your comfort in Him alone?  You will never be the same.   Oh the depths and riches of His great love, who can fathom.


    I will give you the treasures of darkness, riches stored in secret places, so that you may know that I am the LORD, the God of Israel, who summons you by name.  Is. 45:3


JEWELZ

Saturday, June 28, 2008

Laying Down My Isaac

     I feel the waters of my soul stirring tonight.  Papa has asked me to lay something down that I have carried for a long time and I feel the weight of letting go.  It's not a circumstance, it's something inside me, a place that I have carried on my own.  

     Sacrifice is the act of giving up something valued for the sake of something else regarded as more important or worthy.  (Websters)  

      In the midst of giving up I feel the cost of what I am laying down.  What will happen when I let go?  I have carried this place for so long, will it be OK?  What if it falls through the crack? What if it doesn't get better?  What if it emotionally kills me?
 
    Have you ever really thought through the story of Abraham and Isaac, not just read about it but considered it in your own life?  So many parts of that story speak to me tonight.  I have been here before.  It was a few years ago when I had my first laying down of an Isaac in my life.  As the tears poured forth I knew I had no other choice but to surrender.  As long as I held on, I was in control, holding myself back from God's move.  

     Surrender is the place where God's will meets our need. I knew He was asking me to trust Him.  It came down to one question.  Do I trust Him, even if nothing changes?  Everything comes down to trust.  Do I really believe He has my good in mind?  Do I really believe He will protect me?

    Being here again, I know I'm being invited back to the mountain of sacrifice.  Like Abraham I know I have to go there, but as I make the steps forward I feel the weight of each move.  It has been a place I have fought for and guarded.  I have given much of who I am to it.  What will it look like when I no longer carry the weight of it? 

     Abraham headed for the mountain, knowing God was asking him to lay down the fulfillment of his desires.  He knew he would never have another chance at having a son.  This was his one and only chance.  And God was asking him to give it up.  I believe he felt the weight of each footstep up that mountain.  He didn't know the outcome but somehow he trusted.  Did he look at his son as he placed him up on the altar and bound him?  Did he have to look away?  As the knife was raised to kill him, did their eyes meet?  What went on in the seconds, minutes and hours of his surrender?

     He couldn't fix it, or change it.  He was brought  to a dependence on the only one who had the answers.  He still believed.  That's what sacrifice does.  You let it all go and trust in the one you leave it with.  No longer dependent on yourself or another your face is turned towards God to fill your every need because you believe.  You believe He moves mountains, raises the dead and parts the sea.  You lay it all down because you believe in who He is.

     My holding on has kept me independent.  Unknowingly I have carried it on my own.  I thought what I was doing was good.  But I realize now it wasn't.  I have to let go.  It is my reality.  My emotions hold on, but my hand lets go.  As I wait for Him to catch up my emotions with my choice, I trust.  Though I feel the weight of each step as I move forward, I believe God will provide a ram in the thicket of my life.   I know what He's asking of me.  I know He will come for me as He did Abraham.  I know I will see Him afresh... That's why I choose this day to lay my Isaac down and trust.

     Is there an Isaac in your life that Papa is asking you to lay down?  

     "I swear by myself, declares the Lord, that because you have done this and not withheld your son, your only son, I will surely bless you and make your descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as the sand on the seashore.  Your descendants will take possession of the cities of their enemies and through your offspring all nations on earth will be blessed because you have obeyed me."  Genesis 22:15-18
Jewelz

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Lessons From Life


      The things that go on in a day with our kids are often perfect pictures of  some aspect of walking with God.  Oftentimes I have been too busy to notice the spiritual truths that are right under my nose.  God wants me to know Him so desperately that He uses every facet of life around me to tell me what is true.  On one such day He chose to use a situation with my son.


       On this particular day two of my kids were struggling to get along.  Thankfully my husband had come home for lunch just in time. Otherwise, I might have reacted out of my frustration.  My husband stepped in and began to challenge our teenage son to turn away from his flesh and choose the path of life.  He didn’t go after the behavior, he went after his heart.


     My son’s defense that day was that his sister wouldn’t stop when asked  to so he took matters into his own hands.  He decided he would make her stop.  It wasn’t good.  It never is.  If they would just come to me for help, things would be so much better.  I began to explain to him that it’s not working because he doesn’t use the authority set up for him.  


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Saturday, June 21, 2008

She's Back

My daughter's back.  If you want to read where she's been, click here:

     Five long months and she has returned to my embrace.  I cannot begin to tell you what that moment felt like for me.  We waited at the airport for what seemed like an eternity as she exited the plane and went through customs.  Every group that came through, I searched, longing to find her beautiful face.  My full undivided attention was on finding my child in the midst of a crowd full of strangers.  Suddenly, I heard a yell and she came running.

     I know the picture below is blurry, but I have to post it.  If you will look to the far right hand corner you will see her running into my embrace.  The picture just spoke too much, though blurry, it had to be here.  As she rose to the top of the escalator she began waving, and calling out to us and then she began to run...  A picture is worth a thousand words....





     For the first time in 5 months I have all my children under my roof.  Though I know it is possibly the last time for a while, I am savoring the moments.  Life seems to move in warp speed.  It seemed like just yesterday that I was starting my journey into motherhood, now they are preparing to move on, one at a time, slowly but surely.  My daughter plans to return to England and staff the YWAM base at Holmsted, hopefully in September.  It all depends on when her support is raised.  Pray for my Hannah as you read this, please.  On the horizon my 2nd oldest daughter, pictured below, will embark upon her first missions trip to Asia.  She will be gone 3 weeks, her first time flying overseas alone.   Pray for my Courtney too.  And pray for me too.  I have to let them go.

     They all belong to God, but still my heart feels it as each one moves into the things He calls them into.  While I have them close I will hug them tighter and savor the moments we have trusting Papa to prepare me for when they will go. 

      Tonight my heart and my home are full again with the loves of my life. Hug your kids a little tighter today....life passes by in warp speed.  

     Thank you Papa for returning my girl to me. Prepare both my girls for the adventures that you are inviting them into and prepare me to live with an open hand.

Blessings,
Jewelz