My fifth child came out of the womb looking to give affection. There’s just something about touch that is in her dna. Even as a teenager she still likes to come, climb up in my bed after waking, and snuggle. As a younger child, no matter what was going on in her day she was often drawn to where I was. She wanted to be with me.
In the late afternoons I would steal away into my bedroom for a little down time before the arsenic hour of dinner and bedtime hit. It wouldn't take long for my little one to come toddling in looking for me. The ways she came varied depending on what was going on inside her.
Sometimes she would come in wanting to talk to me. Other times she would walk in to see what I was doing, give me a hug, a kiss, then leave. But her favorite times were when she would hear me chatting on the phone with a friend. She would grab up her blanket, toddle into the room to climb up into my lap and rock. Laying her head against my chest she would just sit. There was something about those moments that beckoned her away from her busy activities into my embrace. It was the moment of stillness where she could just be, with Me.
As I chatted away, she snuggled down close, allowing my voice to reverberate in her ears. As my heart strummed it's steady beat, soothing her body, she would often ease into a sweet rest.
I loved how she came. I didn’t keep track of how often she chatted with me, or how frequently she climbed up in my lap. I just loved that she knew her place with me. I loved the ease in which she moved into what her heart stirred her to do. She didn't wonder or question. She lived in the comfortable freedom to be who she was in the moments never wondering if it was acceptable. She came just as she was longing to come.
It has taken me a while to get here but I’m finding my way into the childlike faith that knows the ease of being with One who loves them beyond any fears or expectations that might tell them otherwise. I'm finding that it requires no real discipline to follow the heart. Regimen requires discipline while the Spirit's urgings of the heart evoke following. The longings of the heart well up inside luring you to be where you need to be.
In these beautiful moments I find His invitation is extended wooing me to follow Him inside me.
As I grow into this love that takes my breath away, I’m finding life with God is much simpler than I've known it to be. He invites me to be with Him as my heart beckons me to be, for it is after all where His Spirit dwells.
In simplicity I am finding the beauty of the invitation of His Spirit made known. This beautiful, childlike faith is drawing me into a place much like my daughter has lived with me. Sometimes the Spirit lures me to look to see what He’s doing, give him a hug, a kiss then leave. Other times I come to talk to Him about what’s on my heart. But my favorite times are when I hear His voice and ease up into His lap. The sound of His voice soothes me into a stillness unlike any other.
As I delighted with my daughter's varied responses He delights with me. No records are kept, nor are there any agendas waiting to be fulfilled. He delights in seeing me come as I long to come. It's a stunning transformation. Day by day, moment by moment, I'm learning to live in the comfortable freedom of a child again. It's in that freedom I am learning to be.
©copyrighted: 2010, Julie L. Todd