Monday, June 15, 2009

I'm Still Hanging In There, How About You?

It’s been a hard year. Menopause; the deaths of my aunt and father a month apart; conflicts in our marriage which have been used to expose more dead flesh; and battlefronts between children, have all had an affect on me. It wasn’t until I had a conversation with my husband that I realized something was lost inside me. I needed clarity so I went to sit with Jesus. He had two words for me, “Navy Seals.” My search began.

Of all the battles that a Seal must fight, none is more important then the battle of mind over body. One web site had this quote: “The voice was back. That small, self-doubting messenger returned to pitch its familiar monologue, “ Why are you putting yourself through this? You are never gonna make it all the way, so quit now and call it a day!” The trainees can drop on request any time by simply ringing a shiny brass bell that hangs prominently within the camp for all to see.

The toughest week in Seal training is “hell week”. Trainees are constantly in motion; continually cold, hungry and wet. It’s not the physical trials that are difficult as much as their duration. Many don’t make it. Many succumb to what the body is telling the mind. It’s too hard, just give up and go home. It’s not their bodies that give up, it’s their minds. It becomes a battle of perseverance. They cannot give in to the weariness. They have to see the goal set before them.

Through the long days and nights of Hell Week, candidates learn to rely on one another to keep awake and stay motivated. They tap one another on the shoulder and say, “I’m still hanging in there, how about you?”

I know I need that.

I’ve been in a battle, there’s no doubt about it. It’s not the trials as much as the duration. In some areas I rang that shiny, brass bell. In some ways I gave up and resigned in my spirit. I allowed the elements around me to get to me. I quit hoping. I gave in to the weariness. It became easier to give up than to press on. The thing is, I didn’t even see it.

That inner voice of the "messenger" penetrated my thoughts. “I can’t do this anymore.” “Life is too hard.” “I can’t bear the weariness any longer.” “This is as good as it gets.” “You’re not going to make it.” “I’m so tired.” “Quit now and call it a day.”

And I did. I lost sight of things. I made an agreement with resignation. I turned on the autopilot mode and something inside got terribly lost.

He speaks so tenderly to me at times that I can hardly take it in. “It’s OK, Jewel. I come after the lost sheep.” “You’ve not been lost from Me.” “I’ve known where you were all along.” “I’ve never left your side.” “I’ve been here the whole time.”

I don’t know how to walk in hope when things seems so relentless.

“I know.” “Put your hope in me, Jewel, not what you see going on around you.” “Don’t hope for tomorrow.” “Don’t hope for a better day, or for things to change. Hope in Me.” “I am in every situation that surrounds your life.” “If you will put your hope in me, you will find the breath of life.”

Breathe Your breath of life into my being, like bellows on a fire. Fan the flames to burn brightly. I break the agreement with resignation. I close the door. Awaken me once again to those things I have given up on. It’s mind over the body. I choose to press on. I won’t ring the bell.

“Jewel, I’m there with you. You are not alone. Not now. Not ever. I’m still hanging with you.” “I’ll never stop.” “Don’t ever forget that.”

Never will leave you; never will I forsake you.”

©copyrighted: 2009 Julie L. Todd


Sita said... Reply to comment

Julie...different circumstances...similar lesson..I wrote about it here..

and yes..I am hanging on because I must...blessings to you..
Love, Sita

Shanda said... Reply to comment

i too have rung the bell. i needed these words today, friend.

God brought this song to me just last night. your post is conformation for my doubting heart.

love you!

Jensmere said... Reply to comment

“I’m still hanging in there, how about you?”

Bless you, Julie!

Amy said... Reply to comment


This is an awesome analogy...and a beautiful story of what God is doing in your heart.

God is so AMAZING in His ability to encourage us and lift us up in the midst of the toughest times!

Love you!

Karen said... Reply to comment

Amen! “If you will put your hope in me, you will find the breath of life.” I love that...and am still hanging in there...

He is all we need...

christy rose said... Reply to comment

The strength to endure and overcome lives within you. Lean upon Him and let Him give you what you need to experience the fullness of life, abundance of life, His life, penetrating through the hardships of earthly existence and bringing freshness into all that you encounter. Don't just hang on, let go of your own efforts and soar through in His.
God is so good to speak to your heart in such sweet sympathetic words. Your heart for Him is so beautiful here in this post. Thanks for sharing here today,

Crown of Beauty said... Reply to comment

Praise God you broke agreement with the enemy. And closed the door. Now I release blessings to you of a fresh faith, and a fresh wind of the Spirit to blow over you. I call forth the west winds of heaven to blow a gentle, soothing, refreshing breeze over your weary and tired soul. I pray that God will touch your fevered brow with his healing... and send the angel a second time to give you bread for the journey ahead.

You need not do anything at this point, I believe. Just rest upon the everlasting and strong arms of your Heavenly Father. Be still, and find rest in God alone.

I will continue to pray for you dearest Julie, before I go to sleep tonight.

Tea With Tiffany said... Reply to comment

Glory to GOD! I'm hanging too. I've rung the bell.

I loved the visual of the Navy Seals. I admire a group of people willing to train like that, for battle of all things. Wow, what courage and sacrifice.

Thank you for sharing honestly. I'm definitely feeling tired and weary lately.


LauraLee Shaw said... Reply to comment

OH, sister, * tears *. I have been here, so my emotions are tender toward your testimony. God loves us so much to bring HIm closer to Himself, but it sure can be just like seal training or even worse sometimes during it all. May the Lord continue to speak through His sanctification in you.

Gretchen said... Reply to comment

Such a heart-share, Jewelz. I just sat here and drank it all in. As usual, He spoke to and through you. Even when you feel the most broken, He's there. Sounds like you're resting in that truth.

Laura said... Reply to comment

I'm the tips of my fingers! Sending you buckets of love this week, Julie. Life gets crazy sometimes, but I find when I slow down and rest in Him it settles down somehow.

I love you, lady.

Miss G said... Reply to comment

Thank you for the reminder to hang on! This is wonderful! Kelly

Marsha said... Reply to comment

Wonderful analogy, Julie. Thanks for sharing this.

"I'm still hanging in there. How about you?"

Jo Princess Warrior said... Reply to comment

So many times I have wanted to give up on so many things in my life. Endurance is the hardest. Thank you for this transparent post. I love the analogy of the navy seals. I have been reading "warriorchicks" by Holly Wagner and she draws analogies from warriors.

I'm still hanging in there. How about you?

123 123 said... Reply to comment

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