Loving the Impromptu©

I gathered my things together and headed out for my normal Friday Starbucks day. I knew my 1st and 3rd born children would be standing behind the counter, waiting to serve me. I was surprised to see my 2nd born married girl walk through the door. She'd stopped by to sit with me on her lunch break.

What a gift it is to have impromptu times such as these.

We grabbed a table and within minutes my oldest took her 10 minute break and joined us.

The 3 of us sat talking, laughing, enjoying the sheer pleasure of being together. It wasn't what we talked about that brought me joy, it was the gift of comfortable conversation and love shared.

My heart was taking it all in, relishing the gift of this time. I had no record in my mind of how long it had been since we had all been together like that. I didn't really care. The truth is all I care about at those moments is the pleasure of sitting there with my girls.

It's in times like these my heart sees a clearer picture of the One who loves me beyond measure.

So many years of my life I went to sit with God due to a requirement I was encouraged to fulfill.

I was told often that if I loved Him I would spend at least 30 minutes a day in "quiet time", preferably in the morning. So, I did. I wanted to prove my love for Him.

When I missed a day, guilt came after me. If I missed several I often chastised myself. I didn't deserve for Him to talk to me. After all I had neglected Him for days. I had no idea how wrong I was about Him. But now, as I move into this place of intimate relationship He opens my eyes to see things I've not known.

He's not waiting with a record book to see if I will come. There is no data kept that tells Him how frequently I've visited Him. There's no agenda that needs to be discussed, no right words to speak. His heart is the one that beats in me. He loves it when I drop by for a visit. He relishes the impromptu visits led by the heart.

The words spoken in conversation are not even what it's about. The sheer pleasure of having me come to hang out with Him is.

The truth is, He's just plain delighted to see me.

As Hannah's break ended, Courtney's time was up as well. Hugs and kisses goodbye, "I love you's" spoken left my heart full to overflowing. My girls came to hang out with me. There is no greater gift for my mother's heart.

I love the impromptu moments of the heart's leading with my children. What if I required them to come and sit with me? How would it fare? Intimacy would be replaced with expectations. It just wouldn't be the same for my heart, nor theirs.

Days will go by before the next opportunity comes. Impromptu times have no routine for they happen as we live in the moments. It's times like these that fill the soul unlike anything a schedule could ever bring.

"Come as you are, Jewel." "It's what my heart longs for." I hear Him say.

His Spirit indwells us. He said He had to leave in order for something better to come to us. Yet far too often I've not even allowed this Guide inside me to invite me into the moments of the impromptu. I've met requirements for the better part of my life. Intimacy, true deep heart igniting intimacy, has been held back.

It's in the moments that my heart cries out to "be" with Him that I am finding a love that leaves me undone. For in those moments, those beautiful moments I see that all He ever wanted was for me to come as my heart beckoned me. It's in that place I find the sheer pleasure of His delight.

As I relish the impromptu moments of with my children it's then I see, so does He.

I really am the image of God.

©copyrighted: 2010; Julie L. Todd

His hand is extended©

One of the things I love about God is the pictures He shares with me. It’s amazing to think that before I took my first breath I was made to be a visual person. I see pictures. They speak a message to me. It’s in the day to day living that most often He gives me deeper glimpses of His heart.

As a mother I watch my children walk through the situations of their lives with an ache and longing. I find myself wishing desperately that I could give them that next step that will take them to the truth that will set them free. I see His heart in me there.

All five of my children walked at different times. They had to get to that place on their own. I could always tell when they were getting ready to make that move. They started crawling up to a surface to pull themselves up to stand. I knew they were only days away from stepping out into a new path.

Arms outstretched beckoned them to come to me. At first they were afraid to make that first step. But eventually they would come. Finally they trusted enough to take a chance. It was the beginning of their freedom.

In the beginning it was baby steps, one, two, maybe three before falling down. Soon they discovered that grabbing hold of my outstretched hand allowed them to walk alongside me for an indefinite amount of time. I became the support that stabilized them as they stepped out into their freedom.

So many things I see in this picture of life that I’ve lived five times over. In this moment I find myself there again. I am learning to walk in new territory. I want to live in my reality, Jesus in Julie, but to tell you the truth, so much is still so hazy to me. I’ve lived the life of the “old Julie” for so long that sometimes I can’t see where or how to step.

I was reminded afresh the other day of a phrase that was repetitively brought to my mind in years past. “I will strengthen you, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” It made me think about the times that I would hold my children’s hands while they learned to walk. It was then He spoke tenderly to my heart.

“Jewel, “I am your support.” “I will lead you on the unfamiliar path.” “Let my strong hand guide you.” “Walk with Me, Jewel.” “Hold onto me.”

He consistently stands there with arms outstretched beckoning me to come. He knows the ropes. He knows the path, the way to walk.

Just as my children trusted me to run into my awaiting arms, I trust Him. As my children grabbed hold of my hand to stabilize them I grab hold of Him. He will walk me to where my feet need to be planted. He is my strong arm that holds me upright. He knows the path that leads to life. He knows the path that leads to my freedom.

He will make them known to me.

It is His outstretched arm that brought the children of Israel out of Egypt. He parted the waters of the Red Sea and brought them to safety. He fed them, carried them, rescued them from their enemies. He brought them out of the wilderness into the promised land. It is that hand that is extended to me.

As I grab hold it is then I will find my way into my freedom. For in that place I let go of carrying myself to find I desperately need. I will never get there on my own. I’ve tried that, it doesn’t work. He invites me to walk into that resurrected life. It is His life in me. He knows what it looks like. He waits to show me.

He invites me to let go of all that I am able to do for myself and need Him alone to do for me. It’s an invitation to my freedom for He walks on the paths that lead to life.

I see Him there looking deeply into my eyes. His arms are outstretched, His hand is extended.

Do you see Him?

©copyrighted:2010 Julie L. Todd