Hearing the Heartbeat

      Though years pass by in warp speed, the memories hold strong, as if they were yesterday.  I loved the moments of my children resting on my chest.  They came crying, tormented by a fall, anger or restlessness.  I would grab them up into my arms, as I spoke over them words of comfort.  My breath washed over them as I wiped away their tears.  Eventually they would snuggle in close, laying their heads upon my chest.  As they listened to the sound of my heartbeat, the unshakable strumming soothed them into silent rest.

     Other memories flood my mind of snuggling in close to my groom, laying my head on his chest while his arms surrounded me.  I could hear his heart beating, strong and steady.  A soothing sound, the consistent beat would bring me to a quiet slumber.  I was safe in the arms of love. 

      There’s something about hearing the heartbeat of one who loves you soothing you to a stillness that consumes your body.  As you nestle in close, between their shoulders, the anxiety that you feel seems to dissipate.  You are securely enfolded in love.

     This place of stillness with Papa is unlike any other place on earth.  With tears or words of frustration and anger I  make my way in.  He takes His arms and wraps them around me, inviting me to this place of hushed rest.  It’s the place where His voice soothes away my aches with truth.

      It was a hard weekend.  Conversations with a couple of family members went “south” taking with it my peaceful home.  On top of that a dear family member, my great aunt, died.  She was my 3rd grandmother.  She represented Papa God to me with her heart of giving and care.  

      Feeling a rawness from life’s circumstances I stumbled in this morning to tell Him where I was.  Sometimes it’s hard to put words to the emotions that are consuming me.  Sometimes words are plentiful.  Either way, His invitation is the same.  

     “Come nestle up close to me, Jewel.”  “Tell me what’s going on.”

       I feel His arms surround me as He breathes His breath of life over me.  I can rest secure in the arms of the one who loves me perfectly.  It’s OK that I’m not perfect.  It’s OK that I mess up. He doesn’t care.  He doesn’t see my imperfections.  His love covers it all.  He sees through the eyes of love that draws me in.

     “Be still, my love, I will hold you.”  “I’ve got you.”  “You are here nestled in next to my heart.”  “Do you hear my heartbeat?”  “Be still, listen.”  “Let it settle you down.”  “Dwell here today.”

     His heartbeat strong and steady soothes my heart as I rest enfolded in His arms.  His arms are always there to welcome me in.  He waits to love me.  The beauty is, I don’t ever have to leave this place.  I have an extended invitation to dwell here for as long as I desire.

     There is no place on earth that feels like this.  I am consumed by His great love for me.  For years I didn’t know how to be here.  I stayed on the outskirts of love, hoping that somehow my sacrifices would invite me in.  A child afraid to hop into her Papa’s lap, I stayed back.  What if He didn’t want me up there, I reasoned.

     So, He drew me up to sit.  His invitation is extended every moment of every day to rest between His shoulders.  He waits to love us.  I see it now.  Freely I come.  For now, I know that there is no safer place on earth that this place.  It is here I hear His words and am comforted.  Now I know that He would move heaven and earth to have me here.  He already has.

     Let the beloved of the Lord rest secure in him, for he shields him all day long, and the one the Lord loves rests between his shoulders."  Deut. 33:12

©copyrighted:  2009 Julie L. Todd