Friday, November 28, 2008

Ruined for the Ordinary

     It all started with a sentence during a deep conversation.  "Julie, do you feel like a black sheep?" I replied,  "Amy, I cannot tell you how many times I have used those words over the years to describe how I feel."  No matter how much I tried to be normal I still felt like the black sheep.   

     I was the most active of the 4 children that made up our family. I couldn't sit still.  I couldn't keep my mouth shut, getting into trouble all the time.  I constantly asked questions.  Why couldn't I be good like my quiet, respectful sister?  Why did I have to challenge things so much?  No one called me a black sheep, but it's what I felt and therefore believed.

     I didn't learn the way they taught in public school.  I wasn’t an auditory learner.   No matter how hard I tried I didn't learn well in that setting?  I was made fun of for being too skinny,  having crooked teeth, you name it..  Even my middle name, a family name. was under ridicule.    I dreaded those first days of school where they called out your full name.  Girls who sat behind me made fun of my name.  Why did I have to be so abnormal, so peculiar?

     Years ago at a Bible study I was told I was too deep.  For goodness sake, I couldn't even feel normal around Christians.  I've felt like I wanted too much, expected too much, talked too much, was too vulnerable, and now I am too deep?  I guess that meant I wanted God too much too.  Would I ever feel normal in this world?

     My friend’s question was  hitting a place in me.  I had to know more.  So I asked Jesus. "Am I a black sheep, Jesus?"

     “Jewel, would I have been considered a black sheep in my day?”  “By some, yes, Jesus, after all you did break the rules.”    

     "Jewel, I lived an extraordinary life.   If you follow me, you will never be normal, for I am abnormal by the worlds' standards."  "Normal is the world's term, Extraordinary is mine."  "Do not compare to the world.  Compare to Me."  "Was I normal?" 

     "No Jesus, you were not normal.  You were Extraordinary."

      "Take heart if you are seen as abnormal.  You relate to me.  We are Extraordinary to Papa, Jewel.  Isn't that amazing?"You are not a black sheep, Jewel, you are His extraordinary one."

       In forgetting who we are, we become most vulnerable to the enemy's lies. We end up fulfilling self-proclaimed falsified prophecies.   It is only as we know who God sees us to be that we will walk free.  He sees us as Extraordinary.  

      We’ve been deceived.  No one in life can fulfill or steal the truth of how deeply we are loved and valued.  As children the first people we look to are our parents to give us what only God can give to us. It’s not possible.  I didn't see it until this week.  I cannot possibly give my children the complete love and value that is theirs.  As much as I don’t want to be, I am imperfect in love and life. 

      But there is one who is perfect.  He sees me as Extraordinary and loves me perfectly.  He sees me complete in all my value.  No one can take that from me. The sooner I get that, the sooner I live as I am. 

      I am His Extraordinary One.  So are you. Every moment of every day it is vital to my life to take every thought captive to Him.  "Papa, this is how I feel today, what do you think of me?" 

      I am not who I thought I was.  He sees it.  He invites me to see it too.  He removes the tattered covering of the shroud labeled “black sheep”  and replaces it with HIs cloak of identity.  His covenant robe is exchanged for my old, worn-out, rotting self-imposed labels. As His bloodstained robe covers me, no longer do I have to live fulfilling the prophecies of my past.  Now I am free to see.  Life never was really meant to be normal.  I have been ruined for the ordinary.

     What about you?  What prophecy are you living in your life; your self-fulfilled one or His? Do you see it?  Who are YOU, really?

    But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;  I Peter 2:9

©copyright:  2008 by Julie L. Todd


Amy said... Reply to comment


Wow! I loved reading about the way the Lord replaced a false belief with the TRUTH!

Jesus is amazing in His ability to show us who we REALLY are.

I'm so blessed to be your friend!


Kimberly said... Reply to comment

Why is it that we, even as Christians, look at others and pass such judgement...about looks, about status, about "deepness"? It is sad.

We are each one handmade by the Creator. Our strengths, our weaknesses...all selected by the Maker to fulfill His plans. Each special to Him and adored by Him.

But I know that even in the rejection we all face at times in this life, God can use that hurt for draw us closer to Him.

I am always so blessed to read of the tender ways He reveals His love to you, Julie.


Tracy said... Reply to comment

God speaks such profound truths through you, dear Extraordinary one. You're so right. Regardless of how we've been programed by our families of origin, teachers, classmates, etc., our true worth is determined by the one who created us. To Him we are priceless and extraordinary treasure!

Blessed by your heart continually...

Tiffany Stuart said... Reply to comment

I cling to the truth in Acts that God used "unschooled ordinary men." I've always felt unschooled and ordinary. My school years had their way of messing with my thinking.

I thank God for renewing my mind because of the power of His word. I, like you, see who I really am now. And I send packing the lies that the enemy tries to hand me. As often as I am aware of them anyway. Yes, I have times when I carry labels I shouldn't. But the closer I grew to Jesus, the easier it is to see the enemy's darts.

YOU are extraordinary to me!

Keep reminding us of our value in Christ!!

Much love,

Cindy said... Reply to comment


You are a gifted writer, you take what is in my heart and place it in words.

You and I are so much alike. I have always felt 'out of place' even with other Christians.

I love this title "Ruined for the Ordinary". I actually pray that is what I am.

Bless you friend,

amycloud said... Reply to comment

Julie, this is a beautiful post. I have been blessed and encouraged this morning. We are extraordinary. We are His. Blessings.

Vicki said... Reply to comment

I needed to read these words tonight because in many ways, I've felt like the black sheep, too. Thank you, Julie. I've missed hearing from you.

Trinity Mommy said... Reply to comment

I am so glad that I stumbled upon your blog! These words you have written today were so encouraging in this heart of mine! Thank you!

Marsha said... Reply to comment

Hi Julie!

I could really identify with this. Thanks so much for posting this challenging post. We all seem to suffer from believing a lie(s) rather than God's truth.

Hubby and I just returned from 2 weeks in Kenya Tuesday evening. We stopped in Ellijay at Longhorn for dinner and Starbucks for a coffee (to stay awake!). I kept looking around just hoping you would pop in and I could say hey and hug your sweet neck! We'll just have to plan that out one day.

Have a blessed weekend.

Becoming Me said... Reply to comment

Tears are welling up in my eyes and now pouring down my cheeks. I so related to this personally but also as your friend, I felt your pain and the joy and peace you felt after Jesus spoke to your heart.

Anonymous said... Reply to comment

Beautiful! Mom

Miss G said... Reply to comment

oh yes! once again, God has spoken truth through your writing straight to my heart. I will be pondering these words. Thank you. Kelly

Laura said... Reply to comment

stopping by to say hi, you EXTRA-ordinary lady!

Love you!


Jo Princess Warrior said... Reply to comment

thank you for helping me feel normal about bot being normal!

I found your blog months ago and loved it and am so glad that I have found it again.

I am now follwing you and look forward to many jewlz from you.