Ruined for the Ordinary

     It all started with a sentence during a deep conversation.  "Julie, do you feel like a black sheep?" I replied,  "Amy, I cannot tell you how many times I have used those words over the years to describe how I feel."  No matter how much I tried to be normal I still felt like the black sheep.   

     I was the most active of the 4 children that made up our family. I couldn't sit still.  I couldn't keep my mouth shut, getting into trouble all the time.  I constantly asked questions.  Why couldn't I be good like my quiet, respectful sister?  Why did I have to challenge things so much?  No one called me a black sheep, but it's what I felt and therefore believed.

     I didn't learn the way they taught in public school.  I wasn’t an auditory learner.   No matter how hard I tried I didn't learn well in that setting?  I was made fun of for being too skinny,  having crooked teeth, you name it..  Even my middle name, a family name. was under ridicule.    I dreaded those first days of school where they called out your full name.  Girls who sat behind me made fun of my name.  Why did I have to be so abnormal, so peculiar?

     Years ago at a Bible study I was told I was too deep.  For goodness sake, I couldn't even feel normal around Christians.  I've felt like I wanted too much, expected too much, talked too much, was too vulnerable, and now I am too deep?  I guess that meant I wanted God too much too.  Would I ever feel normal in this world?

     My friend’s question was  hitting a place in me.  I had to know more.  So I asked Jesus. "Am I a black sheep, Jesus?"

     “Jewel, would I have been considered a black sheep in my day?”  “By some, yes, Jesus, after all you did break the rules.”    

     "Jewel, I lived an extraordinary life.   If you follow me, you will never be normal, for I am abnormal by the worlds' standards."  "Normal is the world's term, Extraordinary is mine."  "Do not compare to the world.  Compare to Me."  "Was I normal?" 

     "No Jesus, you were not normal.  You were Extraordinary."

      "Take heart if you are seen as abnormal.  You relate to me.  We are Extraordinary to Papa, Jewel.  Isn't that amazing?"You are not a black sheep, Jewel, you are His extraordinary one."

       In forgetting who we are, we become most vulnerable to the enemy's lies. We end up fulfilling self-proclaimed falsified prophecies.   It is only as we know who God sees us to be that we will walk free.  He sees us as Extraordinary.  

      We’ve been deceived.  No one in life can fulfill or steal the truth of how deeply we are loved and valued.  As children the first people we look to are our parents to give us what only God can give to us. It’s not possible.  I didn't see it until this week.  I cannot possibly give my children the complete love and value that is theirs.  As much as I don’t want to be, I am imperfect in love and life. 

      But there is one who is perfect.  He sees me as Extraordinary and loves me perfectly.  He sees me complete in all my value.  No one can take that from me. The sooner I get that, the sooner I live as I am. 

      I am His Extraordinary One.  So are you. Every moment of every day it is vital to my life to take every thought captive to Him.  "Papa, this is how I feel today, what do you think of me?" 

      I am not who I thought I was.  He sees it.  He invites me to see it too.  He removes the tattered covering of the shroud labeled “black sheep”  and replaces it with HIs cloak of identity.  His covenant robe is exchanged for my old, worn-out, rotting self-imposed labels. As His bloodstained robe covers me, no longer do I have to live fulfilling the prophecies of my past.  Now I am free to see.  Life never was really meant to be normal.  I have been ruined for the ordinary.

     What about you?  What prophecy are you living in your life; your self-fulfilled one or His? Do you see it?  Who are YOU, really?

    But ye are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, an holy nation, a peculiar people; that ye should shew forth the praises of him who hath called you out of darkness into his marvellous light;  I Peter 2:9

©copyright:  2008 by Julie L. Todd