The personality profile test the church used was supposed to help me understand myself. Everyone seemed to buy into it. I was told it was helpful in knowing how to work in relationships in ministry together. I bought into it too. I wanted to know who I was. I wanted to understand the lingo everyone was using. Little did I know that it would end up being something used to shut me down.
I attended the seminars where the pastor presented the information. I received my label. “D”, Direct, Decisive, High Ego Strength, Problem Solver, Risk Taker, Self Starter. As he described the weaknesses of my new-found diagnosis I felt the shame wash over me. Really, is this who I am? It didn’t look good for a southern woman in the church. I didn’t want to be her. I wanted to be someone else. I didn’t want to anyone to know.
I will never forget the Sunday I was asked by one woman in particular about my profile. As I spoke I heard the groan escape her lips, confirming what I had come to believe. No one wants to have a personality like mine.
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